Bernice Constance McHugh
A funeral mass will take place on Thursday, November 7th, 11:00 AM at the Cascadian Center Chapel at Camp Brotherhood, 24880 Brotherhood Road, Mt. Vernon, WA 98274.
Bernice fell peacefully asleep in the Lord on November 3rd, 2013 surrounded by her loving family at her home in Deming, WA. On October 5, 1917, Bernice was born to Waclaw and Grasilda Kenstowicz in Chicago, Illinois. Her parents immigrated separately from Lithuania, meeting and marrying in America. Both of her parents were musicians. Her father played the violin in an orchestra in Lithuania and her mother was known as "the life of the party," singing and accompanying herself on the guitar.
When she was three years old, Bernice lost her sister Henrietta and her mother to diphtheria, leaving her widowed father to raise her and her brother Albin. The family went through extremely difficult times and Bernice suffered from a burst appendix for which she was given little chance of surviving.
Her father was a master craftsman and was able to find enough woodworking and building jobs to meet their basic needs. However, this was during the era before Roosevelt's New Deal and there were no social services or safety nets. Bernice said that one day some workers carried her father home and put him to bed. He had broken his leg. Bernice and Albin were young schoolchildren and tried to take care of themselves and their father as he waited for his leg to heal without medical attention.
One day Bernice fainted in school. She was taken to the school nurse who alerted a charity that Bernice and Albin were suffering from malnutrition. She remembers that from that point on there was food in the house, school clothes, and people came in to look after their father.
She recalled though, that in spite of their difficulties, her father always made it a practice to make sandwiches whenever they went downtown so as to have something to offer those less fortunate. It was this compassion and kindness that defined the Kenstowicz family.
Bernice and her brother were also multilingual and very gifted. Bernice told a story of going to school for the first time and being taught in Polish. Her father supplemented their education by taking them to museums, libraries, free public lectures, reading them novels and other culturally significant literature and essays written by political scientists analyzing various world events.
When she was in the 7th grade, her teacher entered a portfolio of her drawings in a contest at the Art Institute of Chicago and Bernice was awarded a scholarship. Her father taught her how to travel by streetcar from their neighborhood to the Art Institute. It was at that moment that she became completely independent. She traveled alone by streetcar to Art Institute studio classes, and lectures, spending hours by herself in the museum galleries.
She continued her studies as a young adult, and after attending the Art Institute of Chicago, Bernice enrolled in the Shields School of Social Studies, supporting herself while doing various jobs in the field of commercial art while she painted on her own.
When she was 27 she suffered from life threatening peritonitis. She spent months in the hospital and rehabilitation. She said that the kindness she received from the medical sisters was a life changing experience for her and inspired her to learn more about her Catholic roots.
Her passion for peace and opposition to fascism inspired her volunteer work with the United World Federalists and she also enjoyed taking vacations with other single women to various parts of the U.S. It was on a trip to Seattle that she met her future husband Patrick McHugh, and never returned home to Chicago.
Patrick McHugh and his close-knit family reminded her of all she cherished growing up. His salt-of-the-earth kindness won her over and they fell in love, married, and eventually moved to Olympia where they raised their children Kathleen and Timothy.
Bernice continued to paint throughout her life, and after her children were grown, Bernice cherished being in the presence of family, and always had a deep fondness for her grandchildren and great grandchildren. She was a loving, compassionate soul who, like her husband Patrick, resonated kindness with all who crossed her path. After Patrick passed away in 2002, Bernice moved to Bellingham to be closer to family and eventually to Deming where she resided with Tim and his family until her death.
Bernice was preceded in death by her brother Albin Kenstowicz, her cousin, Bea Malloy, and Bea's brother, Medard Mitchell. She was also preceded in death by her sister-in-law Anne and son-in-law Michael Roney.
She is survived by by her son, Timothy, (Deming) daughter Kathleen (Seattle), her daughter-in-law Kristina Coyne-McHugh (Deming), her son-in-law Alan Dykman (Seattle), her grand-daughter-in-law Veronica (Seattle), and her grandchildren Liam Roney (Seattle), Eileen Roney (Seattle), Bridgid Roney (Seattle), Morgan McHugh (Deming), Casey McHugh (Deming), Avery McHugh (Deming), and her great grandchildren Michael Patrick Roney (Seattle), Liam Patrick Roney Jr. (Seattle)., Emmanuel Patrick Roney (Seattle), and nephews: Michael Kenstowicz (Cambridge, MA), Joseph Kenstowicz (Prunedale CA), John Kenstowicz (Pittsburgh, PA), and Thomas Kenstowicz (Olympia, WA).
A funeral mass will take place on Thursday, November 7th, 11:00 AM at the Cascadian Center Chapel at Camp Brotherhood, 24880 Brotherhood Road, Mt. Vernon, WA 98274. Internment will follow at Calvary Catholic Cemetery in Seattle
Donations in Bernice’s memory may be made to: http://cascadiancenter.org/
“If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.” Mother Teresa
Memories
From Diane Wintzer
My thoughts are with your family -- I know what a touchstone Bernice has been in the house with the kids and you both. I am sending love and hugs all the way around.
From Susan Shulman
What a beautiful woman your mom was Kathleen. It is a difficult time, and my heart goes out to you and your family. I didn't know her but from reading this realize, she was such an inspiring and creative lady who influenced you in many ways. All my best to you all. My sincerest condolences for your loss.
From Tom Henry
Bernice embodied the word grace. She was a beautiful, kind and gentle woman who always had time to listen to anyone. She was an inspiration to everyone who was fortunate enough to know her. Her spirit will live on in those whose lives she touched. May she rest in peace. Our thoughts and prayers are with your family during this time of loss.
From Barbara Johnson
What a pleasure it was to meet Bernice a couple of years back at my grandmother, Bea Malloy's, 100th birthday party. I so enjoyed reading her life story on this page, she was a lovely woman, and I am proud to be related to her! It is clear she will be deeply missed by her loving family, our condolences to all of you.
From Tim
Thank you so much Diane. Much love to you.
From Tim
Thanks Tom. I'm glad you knew her and I've always appreciated your kindness.
From Tim
That was the ultimate birthday party and I'm so glad we were able to be there for that. Your grandmother was such an inspiration to me, and I too am proud to be a part of your family. Thanks for your thoughts Barbara.
From Chris Elstrott
I met Tim in 1975, just days after my family had moved to Olympia from New Orleans. We immediately became friends and remain so to this day. Tims family owned a home on Hewitt Lake and it was our playground. Tims parents Pat and Bernice (Mr. and Mrs. McHugh to us) always welcomed me and my brother to their home. Pat always had a joke or funny story to tell us as Mrs. McHugh made us lunch and made sure we were safe and well behaved. She was the sweetest, kindest lady I have ever met. It is hard to put into words how kind and attentive she was to us kids but I've never forgotten it and never will. Rest in peace Mrs. McHugh and thank you for your gracious hospitality and motherly love.
From Kathleen McHugh
Thank you Susan. xxxooo
From Lenny Seifter
Bernice was a special person who embodied love. Love of faith, family and friends. As neighbors and friends, she always welcomed our family with kindness and love and we will never forget her. Our families became intertwined and remain so because of the love of Bernice and Pat. Love for each other, their family,
and our family. We will deeply miss her but will never forget her. Her love endures through her children, grand children and great grandchildren. Not a bad legacy to leave the world with, a legacy of kindness and love. Rest in Peace Bernice, we will always love you....Lenny and the Seifter family
From Tim
Thanks for your kind words Chris. I'll always cherish our friendship and childhood bonds. My folks both loved you and your family so much. I think it's funny though how Mom always felt like I was in such safe company with you and your brother. If she only knew...
From Tim
Beautiful words Lenny. Thank you so much for being there for both Mom and Dad for all of those years. They loved you and your family so much as do we.
My parents' kindness will never be forgotten nor will yours.
From Lori Marshall
Such a beautiful woman, with a beautiful story, a beautiful family and a beautiful life!
From Mark mikkelsen
I have been close friends with the McHugh family for 40 plus years ,Bernice being the cornerstone always doing the right thing quietly talented and a sharp cookie to boot I see her in her children and grandchildren.probably the family I admired most growing up. My sincere condolences to the McHugh clan . I hope someday I could be a quality person someday as Bernice is
From Jeanine Ford
I cried reading this beautiful tribute to your mom, Bernice. I had the pleasure of finally meeting both of you at Bea Malloy's 100th birthday party. Tim, I deeply regret not being able to hear stories from you mom because at that point she was deaf and blind. She exemplifies WHY she was part of the Greatest Generation. The stunning deprivation, hunger, cold and fear never stopped her. At a young age she was independent. Children today should know these stories so they can understand that losing your cellphone isn't a tragedy. I send love and healing thoughts to you, Kristina, your children and family at this time. Love always, your cousin, Jeanine Ford
From John Kenstowicz
Bernice has had such a loving and caring attitude about others that was such an integral part of her personality and who she was. She loved children and showed a warm love and excitement in getting to know our two boys, Andre and Michael. She gave to many causes and wanted the best for everyone. Her love of art transcended to many. Her beautiful art work is hanging in our home and will always be there. Anne McCafferty and John Kenstowicz
From Colleen Coyne
Bernice was one of my favorite people to greet. She would light up, flash her beautiful smile, and up until about a year ago she would consistently give a generous and authentic hug. My favorite memories of her are of watching and listening to her read to her grandchildren, Casey and Morgan, which she did often before her vision began to diminish. She loved all of her children and grandchildren so much and spoke proudly of them often. I remember when she used to hike through the backyards of the neighborhood to the McHugh home in Fairhaven from her apartment at the Parkway Chateau. She loved being close enough to be able do this and continued to for as long as her balance allowed. Her strength and determination always impressed me. What I really loved about her was her compassion for others and her willingness to share stories of her life experiences. These are some of treasures that will be passed on for generations. I'm so grateful that I got to share time with her.
From Tim
Thank you Lori.
From Tim
Thank you Mark. Your words are deeply appreciated and meaningful. You've always been such a vital part of our lives and my mom thought the absolute world of you. I'll never forget how you comforted both she and my father as he was dying. You are a dear friend.
From Tim
That was the party of a lifetime, literally and I'll never forget how magical it was. There was an elder there who was telling me that during Hitler's occupation of France, she and some friends were riding a train to go skiing in the Alps and when they passed through a Nazi check point, she and her friends, skis in hand would sneak out the back end of the train and wait until the Nazis finished their search. Then they'd board back on for their fun on the mountain. Greatest generation indeed. Thanks again for your kind thoughts cousin.
From Tim
Thank you John and Anne. You and your family have always been such an important part of ours, and my parents loved you dearly. You embody all of those same qualities that you saw in her.
From Tim
She loved you so much Colleen and thank you for the great tribute to her. Her legacy will endure.
From Chris
This is a beautiful tribute and inspiring to me, personally. Thank you for sharing Bernice's story of strength and resilience.
Sending love to your family from ours. Chris, Sorrel, Madrona, Wren and Amber.
From Dudley & Dean …
We have been honored to know Bernice and her wonderful family Tim, Kristina, Casey, Morgan and Avery for many years. It has always been a joy to see this family modeling love in its highest form. Bernice was blessed to pass her closing years in the presence of her precious grandchildren and they have been blessed by her love. Tim and Kristina are a true inspiration and the world would be a better place if more families took care of their elders in this way.
From Lon Mikkelsen
The pain of our loss will pass with time, but Bernice's beauty, force of will and concern for all will remain with us always - in the lives she touched and cherished.
From Andre Kenstowicz
Dear Tim, Kristina, Casey, Morgan, and Avery,
My brother and I have so many fond memories of our time with Aunt Bernice. We remember walking down to see her and Pat from Gram's house in Olympia, taking canoes out on the water from her backyard, and watching her paint. She was a very talented, kind and warm person who was always good to us. Our thoughts are with you all.
Love,
Andre and Mike
From Tim
Thank you Chris.
From Tim
Thank you Dudley and Dean. It was an honor caring for her.
From Tim
Thanks Lon. Well said.
From Tim
Thanks Andre and Mike. We appreciate the thoughts and are glad for your memories.
From Diane Gedymin
The few times that we met Bernice, she impressed me as a woman infused with a palpable sense of grace. Even when she began to fail mentally and physically, she nevertheless continued to conduct herself with that graceful presence--the style, elegance and self-assurance of someone who knew who she was to the core and how very loved and cherished she remained to her family throughout her life up to her final hours. Her enduring legacy will continue through the way that Tim and Kristina showed their remarkable children what real love means, a lesson for the generations that we can all take home. We are privileged to have met her. Much love and deepest sympathies, Diane and David
From Tim
Thank you Diane and David. I think that style and elegance you speak of comes from her Lithuanian roots. Really appreciate your kind words too. Her legacy will endure all the way down to her her great grandchildren. She is missed.
From Wilma Duguay
Please accept my condolences. Your Mother was so strong. I admire her for all the trials she endured and overcame.
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