Donald M. Mihaloew
Dear Family and Friends,
We will gather on Saturday Nov. 5 at 4:30 p.m. to honor Don Mihaloew and to celebrate his good life. We are calling it his "graduation" as graduations held enormous significance in his life and he saw his passing as yet another great opportunity to learn, in another realm.
The event will be held at Center for Spiritual Living, 2224 Yew St in Bellingham. After the family sharing we will open it up to everyone so please come and bring your good stories! This is open to all so partners and others who knew him but weren't on the email list are very welcome.
It will be dinnertime so there will be a potluck afterwards, giving you time to mingle, to see the tables with photos and other items, and to view the video of him in his life. Please bring a dish to share and a beverage. There is a kitchen. As many of you know, Don loved to cook, and he loved to eat, and he always ate well so we must eat together! Being half Italian and half Slovak he certainly loved those foods! He also enjoyed wine, with a fondness for the reds, and wine is welcome. However, bring whatever you want to make, keeping in mind people have special needs and preferences (some good old Bellingham quinoa and gluten-free is good too). So many of you have shared food with us for months, for which I am enormously grateful, and this will be a final time for sharing these love gifts.
The obituaries came out 10/23, in the Bellingham Herald, the Eugene Register Guard, and a very short one in the Oregonian. I wrote a longer one about his work in Ptld that was not published but if you would like it send me an email. There is a Legacy board for comments if you wish, on the Whatcom Cremation site at wcremation, and also both the Register Guard and Oregonian sites. Our family really appreciates all the wonderful words. Thank you so much for being with me and all of us through this heart-breaking and beautiful time. Your support means more than I can say.
In tears and love,
Betty
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NOTE: The Center for Spiritual Living is at 2224 Yew St. ROAD--which is a continuation of Yew St.
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Don Mihaloew, 78, took his last breath peacefully in his Bellingham home October 8th, surrounded by his beloved life partner Betty Kellow and his loving family. A strong and healthy man his whole life, he strove against cancer to give every ounce of himself to those he loved.
Don was born to second generation Slovak and Italian parents, Michael and Rose Mihaloew, in Ambridge, PA. His older twin brothers, Jim and Jack Mihaloew of Cleveland and Ambridge survive him. In 1962 Don graduated from Westminster College, PA in philosophy and went on to achieve an M.Div. at Princeton Theological Seminary. He was deeply drawn to the Pacific Northwest and completed an M.A. and then, in 1991, a Doctorate in Education in Counseling Psychology at U.O. in Eugene, OR. A deep warm-hearted man, he built his successful private practice in marriage and family therapy in Eugene, helping a great many people over the span of 40 years.
Blessed with a gift and enormous passion for teaching, a huge intellect and sense of humor, Don instilled his great knowledge and values in students at community college, university, and graduate levels. He was much-loved and respected. After he moved to Bellingham in 2006, he continued to commute weekly to Portland, loving his train rides, to teach and supervise in the Graduate Counseling Program at PSU. Don became excited about the Academy of Lifelong Learning here and created dynamic courses in psychology, philosophy and religion, completing his last class in February.
Don was a man of many interests, appreciative of the inner world of thought and imagination and the external in all its offerings. He was truly a “Renaissance Man.” He liked jazz, politics, wine, astronomy, cooking, baseball and puns. He traveled the world, read voraciously, and thought deeply. He also could fix or build just about anything and was happiest puttering in his shop.
He came to love Bellingham and call the mountains and the water home. He fished in his boat, hiked and backpacked, canoed and explored especially with his family. He lived for softball with the Bellingham “Cows” and played until age 76. He adored his 7 lively grandchildren and couldn’t wait to get their lines in the water and to teach them how to love and live.
He is survived by his wife Betty Kellow, daughters Chris Lindholm (husband Erik) of Portland and Andreya Mihaloew (husband Jim Berry) of Ithaca, NY and stepdaughters Shannon Kellow and Misty Parker (husband Mike) of Bellingham. His seven grandchildren range in age from 19 to 4 and are Kyle, Ben and Will Lindholm, Jamie and Evi Berry, and Savannah and Maggie Hensley-Kellow.
Our family, community, and world have lost a truly amazing, self-crafted, and well-loved man. He was both very academic and spiritual and his celebration of life will be a “Graduation.” It will be held Nov. 5 at 4:30 p.m. at Center for Spiritual Living.
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WHY WAIT? By Donald Mihaloew
Why wait for the freshest breeze when the fullness of air surrounds? Why wish for the finest wine when the purest of water is here all around? Why crave for the deepest of happiness when life and breath and beauty all over abounds? Why wait for the melody of the angels when voice and string and brass provide, now, the most pleasing sound? Why wait for wings to float when we have legs already to dance and prance and bound? For what is it to truly live but the constant, ever present gratitude of this Garden we inhabit, the gift from an Unknown Cause, for an unknown reason, and for an undetermined time? Why talk of going to a “better place,” later, when we, here, now awash in all this necessary goodness, do not need for a clearer sign? You see, there is no such thing as waiting, for all there is is the infinite NOW. And it would be easier to understand all this if we only knew how. Yet because Life is really a “vale of soulmaking,” it is something to which we should vow. So, why wait for this understanding to come when it is already inside us, stretching, twisting, and wrestling to find its way to our light? Yet, patience, respect, and Love describe Life as it waits for us, all the while even when there is no need for us to wait just because we might.
Memories
From Elaine Head
Bruce and I were blessed to share some of Kauai's beauty with Don and Betty earlier this year. Our time together was brief but deeply meaningful. We are grateful that we were able to spend time with this wonderful man. Our thoughts are with Betty and Don's family.
From Barbara Gilday
Yes, Don was truly a Renaissance man.
He was intelligent and funny, spiritual and irreverant in a delightful way - a creative and independent, deep thinker and lover of life and of all those he encountered. I feel truly blessed to have known this unusually beautiful human being, and to have experienced the deep love and appreciation he had for Betty and their families. Theirs was a unique and beautiful example of how to live a rich, full, loving, inquiring life. His vibrant memory and spirit will live on in all of us who knew and loved him. Still, I will miss our thoughtful discussions in the flesh, mightily.
May Love, your wonderful Memories and Blessings hold and comfort you, Betty, and all of you who loved and cared for him so well.
Barbara Gilday
From Angela Polito
When Don looked into your eyes with his piercing and steady gaze, you knew he was genuinely seeking to KNOW you as a fellow human being - heart, soul, and mind. You could FEEL his interest and caring for others. I will remember his unguarded authenticity, his kindness to others, his curiosity and dry humor about life, his devoted love for Betty and all his family, and his warm, remarkable Presence, which he shared generously. My heart goes out to all who loved him, for I know you will miss his vibrant and loving spirit.
Namaste, Don. Namaste, All.
From Michael
I am so grateful to have spent so many one-on-one hours working with Don. I hear his voice when I am working with clients and I strive to make the work I do as powerful as the work he did with so many. I have so much love for this amazing person.
Most Sincerely,
Michael
From Patrick mutinda
Am glad to have shared some days with Don when he visited Kenya. Life is so unpredictable. He was very encouraging and friendly.
On behalf of Dianah's family here in kenya 'poleni sana'
From Rick Steele
I am so fortunate to have known Don as a friend, musical enthusiast and source of enlightenment. His insights, love and positive outlook were infectious and uplifting - a life well lived.
From Deborah Peterson
Don was kind, wise, caring professor and colleague. I want to send condolences and comfort to Betty and your family as you mourn Don's passing. I came to know Don in an unlikely place, by the printer at PSU. My office was nearby and as we waited for our documents to print, we came to talk about what it is to be human, spirituality, and how to care for our students in the way they needed our care. . Sending you comfort and peace in your hearts, Deborah
From Cheryl Livneh
As the director of Continuing Education in the School of Education at PSU, I worked with Don for many, many years. He gave of his time and expertise by assisting us in developing a very high quality graduate certificate and a master's degree specialization in Couples, Marriage, and Family counseling. He then taught in the program for years, both for Continuing Education and the Counseling Department. His enthusiasm for his subject matter and life in general was contagious. His students loved his classes and felt that they benefitted greatly! He was so committed to the students that he traveled miles to teach in the program, regardless of the situation (e.g., weather, inconvenience). We, the Continuing Education staff, always enjoyed when he stopped by with his warm smile, kind words, and great insights. He lit up our day. I feel very fortunate to have known Don and been able to work with him. Thinking of all of you, his family, Cheryl
From Tom and Kathy Parker
We were greatly saddened to learn of Don's final sickness and death because we only came to know him so near the close to his life. And yet, we are gladdened by the memory of him and his friendship ,even during the brief time given to us. He was and is for us an unforgettable part of our extended familyl The times of being together and sharing remain with us as gifts to be cherished. The delight we felt in knowing him and sharing with him will remain an important part of our lives. As we came to know one another, we learned that in many ways we shared root beginnings, traveling different roads, in different places, with common experiences and with common purposes. In some ways it was like meeting an earlier self.
But perhaps, most of all, we remember Don and the family welcoming us into their circe of caring, almost as if we had been born to it. We treasure the thought of every moment of sharing that we were able to have.
From Allene Gould
How lucky I feel to have known Don, however briefly. He was my mentor, teacher and advisor in my practicum at PSU's Masters in counseling. I not only learned skills, but patience, compassion and humor from him. I'll never forget one of the many times I saw clients with him as my advisor. It was a young man who had just been released from jail, and mentally struggling. I was scared and nervous as it appeared he had a gun with him during the session. I asked Don to come in, and he was so reassuring, caring, and diffused the situation in his magical way.
He has taught me how to age gracefully; I just wish he could have continued to age gracefully for many more years.
Loved you, Don, Allene Gould
From Joy
Don is incredible and I am sorry to see him go. He brought us food in the masters program at PSU. This is so emblematic of who he was. Talking philosophy during farmer's markets breaks, nourishing the soul. He talked about the difficult things and made it safe to discuss from all points of views. He was a magician to be sure. He believed in me, and wrote a page on any paper I wrote. The level of care was so deep, sometimes I stop to muse on how much he gave and wonder how I could do the same... He did this for every student. I find myself quoting Don more than anyone I know, in my mind and to others, as I realize the truth of many sentiments he gave, causing clients and my family to chuckle as I get them on board with Jungian psychology and the earthy/ deep/ sensible knowledge that came to represent the Jungian world to me through Don. It was because of Don that I am able to be sensible and earthy in my approach to couples work (and personal life) in relationship. It was because of him that I felt comfortable choosing a Jungian doctorate program -- Don served on my dissertation committee and helped me keep my heart in the process, thinking of what he would think, outside of myself as I encountered that new world... to write from a heart-centered space he brought to all of us in my masters program, that helped me to think of client-work, too, so well-represented by him, in this way. I hope this makes sense. He gave me a tremendous example of care on this world and I am glad for his mentorship and example. All of my relatives can see the sense when I quote him... and no one minds, at all... because when I do quote him, everyone thinks quietly to themselves for a bit... registers the truth and pithy humor, and smiles softly to have Don's words of high wisdom and grounded, rooted, fun, register. I so appreciate all you did for everyone. I had no idea what to think when I heard your reputation proceed you before I had any classes with you, Don, and then was lucky enough to have your example make me a better person and more able to believe in a precious example.
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